“Feedback is not about praise or blame, approval or
disapproval. That’s what evaluation is—placing value. Feedback is value-neutral. It describes what you did and did not do.” (Grant Wiggin)
Feedback is effective way of communication in delivering positive information to the receiver.
Feedback is information about how we did by having some goals in mind when such information being provided. As a receiver it is sometimes difficult to distinguished between feedbacks and criticism.
How we receive feedbacks is a combination of 3 components. The same feedback said by different persons can be interpreted differently. The same intention being worded differently can have a totally different result. Those 3 components are 1) content – what is being delivered 2) Context – The way you delivered 3) channel – the person who delivers.
Content: Feedback becomes useless if the person who receives doesn’t hold the same value as the person who gives. Sometimes it needs some background or permission to give feedback so that the giver and the receiver are on the same wavelength and share the same objectives.
Context: Feedback can become negative when the information received is being generalized i.e. “you are always not responsible for the work you do”. This becomes criticism. It has a negative impact on integrity, self-perception and confidence. This is also depending on the perceived intention. If the receiver feels it is a threat, it can also be negative. It also depends on the mood and emotion during the time feedback being given as well as the experience in the past with feedbacks.
Channel: The person who gives also has high influence how the information being received. If he is trusted it will be more effective in receiving. Trust reflects intention on feedback being given.
Effective feedback should have the reference on some certain goals so that it can be specific, it should indicate the result of the action the person did, the consequence. It should at the same time provide some specific actions for the person to be better in achieving goal.
That is the ideal world. In reality how many times we all get effective feedback. Think of it; how many times you receive effective feedback that is open enough to see opportunity to improve or to change for better. How many times it is specific enough to help separate the issue about yourself and the goals. Many times it is negative and generalized with preset value. Sometimes it is delivered with emotions or not with honest intention.
Of course, you cannot control the sender and how he will deliver feedback. But you can control on our end how we receive feedback. Information sent is like rain that pours. Information received is the quality of the container. We will discuss here how we prepare ourselves to be effective feedback receiver – create confidence in receiving feedbacks.
1) Confidence doesn’t alone come from what you have, it comes from when you realize and accept what you don’t have. You know your limitation. When you accept that you are not perfect it will be easier for you to receive feedback. It increases effectiveness of your listening.
2) Listen carefully: This about how difficult it is when you want to deliver feedback. It is the same as how difficult it is to receive. It requires skills on both ends. You cannot control how feedback is given. You cannot control perception of the person who delivers. You have to accept that it is your reality of what you are perceived.
3) Don’t be defensive or try to justify. It is no use. You cannot change their perception with emotion. What you should do is to ask questions for clarification so that it brings both the deliverer and receiver to be at the same level. It helps validate the information being given.
4) Separate the issues from attaching with yourself. Feedback is all about what being done and then move forward from there. If what being said is true, you should come up with action step how to come about achieving the goal with no interference.
5) Choose your respond. Remember you cannot control others but you can control yourself. Whatever decision you make it has the consequence in it. There are always prices on everything you do. Choose wisely. Choose with calculated expected outcome.
